i feel like crying
but i just cant
i was nearly going to cry in the bus
i dont know why i'm feeling so emotional these few days
everyime i think of it i just want to walk out and cry
i hate you
i feel like going to school on my own then you fetching me
at least i dont have to listen to your fucking nonsense
you say i dont have any remorse
what do you want me to do?
cry infront of you?
admit that i am a stupid stuborn child that you wish you didnt have?
you heartless father
you think you are so smart
you think that you are always correct
i tell you something
that is all bullshit
all fucking ass bullshit
everybody says you are so good to me
so caring and all that
if that is true, why are you doing this to me?
saying things that i didnt do
saying that i'm a know it all
i really hate you
why do i need to get your permission for everything?
buying shoes, bags and going out
i am already 14
i can make my own decisions
i dont want to be control by somebody
i want to be free
you think you still in the past
wake up
everything is different now
we dont have breaks in between classes
we cant just take our papers as we please
why do you have to make it so difficult for me?
and the worst,
stop comparing me to smarter people
i know i am a letdown and a stupid girl
you dont have to keep reminding me
and her.
everytimes she says something you all hang onto her every word
yes i know she has the brains, looks and character
that's why now i hate family events
i simply have nobody to talk to
my sister with her boyfriend
parents complaining about me
brother deep down with his work
so why should i go?
might as well just stay at home
you and your stupid timetable
you and your ass nonsense
stop ruining my life

i feel like going out by myself
just me
alone
with nobody to nag or scold me
how nice

if i lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?

we are back together
i'm happy
thank you god

i can't stand her please
you think you're so smart
oh please
take a long look at yourself
even the dumb knows
don't try to write as if you are queen of the world
you are like contradicting yourself
so just keep your mouth shut and get out of the world
the world is so much a better place without you
THE BOOBS ARE FLYING

i am dead
so dead
parents are so going to be so disappointed
i could not control my emotions
so i let it out
the sight of her crying also made me want to cry
so i did.
let it out
let it all out.
what's done is done

1 more day
1 more freaking day
please please bear with it
but i hate home econs
always seem to fail
and science
oh no science
there is simply no chemistry between us

please let there be a miracle to let me pass maths